


Harry Potter and the Burrow Gnomes Doomsday

by DarkSkyOmen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Logic, Sick Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 22:46:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15326058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkSkyOmen/pseuds/DarkSkyOmen
Summary: Harry & Hermione use a bit of muggle logic for clearing the Burrow's garden. The Weasley kids are left horrified.





	Harry Potter and the Burrow Gnomes Doomsday

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I obviously do not.** I found the ideal of Harry and Hermione using a bit of cruel logic insanely funny.

 

** \- Harry Potter and the Burrow Gnomes Doomsday - **

All of the Weasley children that were currently at home stood frozen and staring on in horrified shock. Their wide eyed gazes affixed firmly upon Harry Potter as he bounced around the backyard of the Burrow. They were even more disturbed when Hermione Granger followed suit along with her best friends grisly example. After a quick and muttered conversation with much gesturing between the two they agreed upon their upcoming actions. The frizzy haired girl even seemed determined to out do the much smaller boy in their new and morbid little game.

Ron, having lost the straw draw with his siblings then made his way over to the other two halves of the golden trio. His siblings quickly edged their way over to listen in on them. He approached slowly and came to an overly cautious stop still several feet away from his friends. Clearing his throat to gain their attention and give himself the nerve to ask his questions. "Ahem! Err, Harry mate.. What the hell are you and 'Mione doing?"

Painfully skinny, shaggy haired, short, and wide eyed Harry paused in his gleeful jumping, kicking, and stomping frenzy. Looking up, he leveled his bright green gaze at Ron then shrugged his thin bony little shoulders. He suddenly turned to quickly and viciously snap out his right foot to pin down a particularly chubby gnome. One that had been trying to flee past them to escape the muggleborn girl that was still bouncing about behind them. Once he was sure that he had it trapped firmly beneath his ratty taped up trainer, he focused back upon the taller red haired boy with a shy grin and pushed up his glasses.

"My aunt explained vermin to me when they got into the tool shed back when I was about 5 or 6 Ron. So I guess I'll pass the common sense lesson on to you too. Only with a wizarding version of household pests included. Magic folks don't seem to really have very much of it though you know? Common sense, I mean. Anyhow spinning and throwing the gnomes away doesn't really do any real or permanent good to be rid of them right? They just come right straight back almost immediately and keep on, keeping on with their mass over breeding. They're completely ruining the garden by eating on the things growing here and mucking up other things as well aren't they?"

Ron blanched at the mention of Harry's mean, horse faced, muggle aunt as being the source of his round the bend reasoning and actions.. "Well.. Yeah, but ma-"

Harry quickly interrupted him with a big lopsided grin. "Mice. Gnomes. Doxies, or Death Eaters. All are vermin and can be put into the same grouping. They carry disease, cause famine, destroy, and kill things. I actually agree with my aunt and uncle on how to deal with these things. Right shocking that is, I know! But it's the truth of the matter."

Ron's face paled. He really didn't want to, but forced himself to ask anyway. "Oh?"

Harry beamed up at him with a smile full of teeth while he shifted his weight to viciously stomp down on the gnome he still had pinned underfoot. It gave a loud gurgling shriek as there was a sharp crunch of tiny little bones breaking. Harry gave a satisfied huff before looking back up at his pale faced friend.

"It's quite simple Ron. Even Hermione couldn't dispute the truth nor the facts. Even when we made a list of the pros and cons, just for comparisons sake."

Ron eyed the crushed gnomes body, his face taking on a greenish hue. His stomach was churning in absolute disgusted horror. He managed to choke out his next words already tasting bile in his mouth. "And that is?"

Harry and Hermione both laughed as she skipped back over to stand between them all the while kicking another gnome along the ground like a ball before launching it to Harry. She pointed at the squirming, unfortunate new gnome that the dark haired boy was now pinning to the ground and raised an eyebrow. Harry winked at her then twisted his foot sharply causing another loud crunching, squelching sound, and a squealing gurgle. The pressure expelling the stomped gnomes innards out of it's rump and mouth in a gory mess.. 

Ron realized that his friends eyes and voices were laced with cruel and determined amusement as they both replied in almost perfect sync. It was a perfect mockery of Fred and George actually when Ron thought back on it later on.

"Dead things never come back to re infest places or society! And they most certainly don't breed, or in the death munchers cases, inbreed!"

~FIN~

Yes, yes I know. I'm a bad person! *cackles*


End file.
